Kindness is a Square?
Today is World Kindness Day. Odds are good that you’re never heard of it before, it’s only been around since 1998, but it is an annual celebration of the goodness done by humanity to each other by being kind. According to Wikipedia, the objective is “to highlight good deeds in the community focusing on the positive power and the common thread of kindness for good which binds us. Kindness is a fundamental part of the human condition which bridges the divides of race, religion, politics, gender, and location.” Kindness is a choice and there are lots of ways to celebrate this day, but when I think of kindness, I find that I have a hard time defining what counts as kind.
When I think of kindness, the first phrase that comes to mind is that you’re supposed to “kill ‘em with kindness”. Kindness also shows up as one of the fruits of the Spirit, depending on which version of Scripture you’re using. Kindness is a good thing. It even showed up last week in the THINK acronym that I, and others, encourage people to use when sharing information. At the same time, if I asked you to define kindness, would you be able to? How would you differentiate it from nice or sweet or thoughtful? Are they all the same? Is kindness one of those things that overlaps with other virtuous traits to the point that it disappears?
Well, kind of? Is it a square/rectangle situation? All squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares. Merriam-Webster tells us that nice is “polite, kind” or “pleasing, agreeable” so nice could be a type of kind. When sweet is used as an adjective to describe someone, it means they are “pleasant, kind, and gentle toward other people” per the Collins Dictionary. That means sweet could also be a type of kind. Merriam Webster also gives us a definition for thoughtful, “given to or chosen or made with heedful anticipation of the needs and wants of others” which does not make it a type of kindness, but a common partner to kindness. Wikipedia defines kindness as “a type of behavior marked by acts of generosity, consideration, rendering assistance, or concern for others, without expecting praise or reward in return.” Kindness is the act. To do something. If we mark someone as kind, they do things that make them sweet, nice, and thoughtful, but kind itself is the action. Which is a solid argument for why many groups name themselves as random acts of kindness- you have to do something to be kind. Action is required.
Is it fair to give kindness such a narrow definition? Perhaps. Christ always told us that the paths of righteousness were narrow, not wide. (Matthew 7:13-14) Doing the right thing rarely comes with multiple options of good and Christ-like. There’s usually one and then lots of others that are not. Lots of choices, but only one that draws us closer to God, that listens to the Holy Spirit, that has us walk with Christ. And it is not a difficult argument that Christ is kind. You see, kindness is an action. You can describe someone as kind, but it is their deeds and words that will actually make them so. You have to do something to be kind, you cannot sit idly by and expect to receive that moniker. Who took action? Christ. Without expecting anything in return, Christ took on flesh, lived, died, and rose again. It checks every box for kindness given in the Wikipedia definition. Since Christ is kind, how do we live into that kindness and offer it to others? As a holy and living sacrifice.
Alright, so what does that mean? Pastors say it as a part of the communion liturgy in most United Methodist churches (and I personally find that when I say it I raise up on my tiptoes, ever so slightly, for emphasis because those are words that matter to me). We are supposed to live, yes, but as a sacrifice. Which means sometimes putting aside our opinions, discomfort, or ease of living to help others. It is a call to action that is supposed to spur us to acts of kindness, goodness, and grace.
I’m not sure if you will celebrate World Kindness Day, but as a Christian (assuming if you’re reading this, you are) every single day should be a version of World Kindness Day. Every day should have opportunities to be kind to others. To do something to serve or help or consider the plight of your fellow humans. Days of rest are important, please do not erase the need for sabbath in hearing that each day there are opportunities to be kind. But also hear this radical theological thought: that if every day you sit and do nothing so as to not sin, the idleness becomes the sin as there are those in need of kindness that you have to give. You may have heard the phrase before that silence is complicity and this is one of those cases. Taking a day off to rest is not a sin. Kindness does not have to be a big day long production with official volunteer and service hours. There are things you can do to offer kindness to other people, including your family and colleagues, each and every day.
Some ideas:
visit a senior home and spend time talking with those who live there
write a handwritten letter and mail it
compliment with reckless abandon
cook a meal for someone who is struggling
donate blood
treat service workers like people, not robots
look in the mirror and say three positive things about yourself
let somebody merge while in traffic
send an encouraging email to a colleague
share a meme or picture with someone
ask a friend how they are doing (and mean the question)
As you can see, kindness isn’t complicated. It is action, but action does not have to be grand and sweeping to have an impact. Christ gave all, we can contribute to the kindness in the world.
