What Does Your Heart Desire?

In a world full of consumerism, this feels like a loaded question. Revisiting the wish catalogues from Christmas seasons long ago, you can see that I wanted every toy. I needed my collections to be complete and entire. And as a single person, asking this question on Valentine’s Day feels a bit like treacherous waters, but I promise you my answer to this question stays the same year-round.

My answer to this question is a line from a hymn- United Methodist Hymnal #572, “Pass It On”. I wish for you, my friend, this happiness that I’ve found. That’s it. That is my heart’s desire. I would want for everybody to know the joy and the peace and the love that I have discovered in this life. But I also realize that’s a very privileged mindset which leaves me feeling a bit guilty, especially during this Lenten season full of self-examination and reflection.

You see, I don’t have to ask for new shoes. Or a roof that doesn’t leak. Or food for dinner tonight. I have all those things. My bills are paid, I have decent health insurance, and a job that brings me joy more days than not, and access to clean running water. I have a life of abundant blessings in the immediate physical need department. Most of my issues there are issues of my own making. I have it good.

And even my desire is a bit self-serving. I want to limit the happiness of others to the joy that I have experienced. They can’t have it better than me (they don’t deserve it, maybe, I guess) and I don’t want them to struggle because then I might have to go out of my way to actually help somebody… before I go to deep into this, let me be clear: during self-examination it is possible to turn something that is God-focused, pure of motive and intention, and ego-free into something that is somehow all again all about you rather than about God. It is one of the biggest challenges of offering your entire heart to God- there is absolutely no space left for the anxieties, the doubts, the comparisons, the self-serving ambition, or any other action, thought, or deed that does not point back to God and God’s glory. It’s why Christian perfection is not easily obtained. God’s grace is free and abundant; working to be good, faithful people who live into that grace takes work.

And this is the work we undertake during Lent. To be reminded that we die, that it is only in Christ that we live. That giving our entire selves to God, loving God with all we’ve got, may require a redirection, refresh, or renewal. That loving God is easy while loving like God requires the divine power shared with us through the Holy Spirit.

Let your heart be unburdened this Lent, may it be filled with God’s love, and may that lead you forth in God’s name. Amen.