Make Room on the Pew
People across the denomination are celebrating. General Conference has made the decision to remove some language from the Book of Discipline that has been there for the last fifty years causing pain, derision, and strife. The removal of this language means that United Methodist Churches can be fully welcoming, affirming, and uplifting of LGBTQIA+ peoples. However, the tolerance paradox means that some people are very upset by this decision. So let’s talk about it.
I first heard of the tolerance paradox from the same source as my memes. Considering that it is also my first source of news so often, that is not a total surprise. The Tolerance Paradox is the idea that you cannot be tolerant of intolerant people. If you’re big into philosophy and want to read more, Wikipedia has you covered. This feels hypocritical to have intolerancce in tolerance, but I have a specific way of thinking about it.
Imagine if you will that there is a pew. It’s not in heaven, it’s here on Earth, but a pew. Nice red cushions and pretty, warm wood. Looks solid, comfortable, and familiar. At different points in history humans have put up arbitrary signs that say, much like in Forrest Gump, you can’t sit here. Sometimes it has been towards people of color (a social construct, not a scientific one). Sometimes it has been about gender (gender roles are a social construct). Sometimes it has been about class or caste (socio-economic state is a social construct). Are you catching on yet? People have always been the ones to say that others are not allowed. When people say to others that they are not allowed on the pew, or in the pulpit, or at the communion table, that’s not God speaking. God has always said if you budge up a little bit, there will be enough room on the pew for everyone.
For others though, it runs the other way. They understand scripture to say that God does not approve of certain things, including LGBTQIA+ peoples. They feel pushed out by the inclusion of these people. That they are uncomfortable with, upset by, and generally unhappy to be around them. That their viewpoint means they have to get off the pew because they are no longer welcome. Hence the paradox. By becoming more inclusive the UMC may make some feel excluded, but in the church, all must be welcome.
Like many, I have long maintained that United Methodism comes in different flavors and styles. That how we worship here at Valley View UMC does not look exactly like worship at insert church name here. Each local congregation is a unique expression of the church while still being connected with others. Being connected is valuable for resources, shared knowledge, and the struggle and tension of sometimes being in disagreement with each other. It makes us sharper when we actually talk about these things that are considered controversial. Early Methodists discussed abolition and whether or not the church should have a stance on slavery, especially in the United States. The early church dealt with the issue of the American Revolution which meant that Methodist ministers could not take the traditional Anglican vows that included fealty to a king. Modern issues include, but are not limited to, how to assist with the housing crisis, food instability and/or food deserts, access to clean and safe drinking water, health insurance, growing wealth inequality, and incarceration. There are lots of issues the church has a stake in because it wants peace and mercy for all of God’s children.
This change at General Conference is definitely something that so many are celebrating. They see this as the church actually living out its belief of universal grace. That’s God’s love is for all people. No exceptions, no asterisk, no buts. But what happens to those who do not feel that way?
That’s a fair question. My understanding and hope is that the UMC will continue as it has for many years to allow individual churches to express themselves appropriately to their contexts. Valley View UMC identifies in many different ways and although I make jokes about being one of the more liberal churches in town, it feels safe to say that the congregation as a whole is more traditional than progressive. In worship style with the hymns and piano. In what I do or do not talk to the youth about. In how PDO teaches the children. In what you expect to hear from the pulpit. Things are not going to change drastically at VVUMC unless the congregation decides that is how they want it to be. Laity holds that power as they should. The congregation is the church, not the pastor. It’s part of why we itinerate.
It is also a call to the congregation to reach out to those who have gone away. We all know there are individuals and families that we have not seen in worship in a while. There’s no safe assumption about how they feel or where their hearts are in this. Scripture seems to tell us, at least in the way that I understand it, that these are the ones we should reach out to with even greater fervor than before. To love them, invite them, and otherwise remind them that there is space on the pew for them too.
Finally, some facts. The FAQ published before General Conference reassured churches that their individual wedding policies would be honored. Valley View UMC has one of those. You’re welcome to drop by the church office and give it a read from the policy binder. The FAQ also talked about how the Bishop, the Cabinet, and others would continue to work with churches to make sure that their pastor was a good fit in as many ways as possible. No pastor is perfect, we are human too, but ideally our gifts and graces would fit with the needs of the congregation along with our personality, personal baggage, or other cultural and social considerations.
Finally, a word from our Bishop. Please watch this video and know that I fully believe in the future of the UMC and I hope you do too.
