International Siblings Day
This is not my first international siblings day with a sibling, or a sibling who is international (ha!) but it is the first one where I’ve decided to embrace a theological thought that is found throughout scripture- that as the children of God we are all siblings in Christ. That all believers, with varying understandings and thoughts and beliefs, are all siblings together in the name of Jesus.
And yes, I am including all sorts of our ecumenical partners in this thought process, not just the pan-Methodist churches like the American Episcopal Church (AME) or Christian Methodist Episcopal Church(CME). This big extended family includes our Roman Catholic siblings (whether they claim us or not), the Lutherans, the Baptists, and more. The number of denominations grows each year it seems, though I know it takes a while for a new denomination to get established. With this many denominations plus a whole spectrum of belief within our own United Methodist Church, how do we learn to show love to our siblings every day (and not just when the calendar deems it worth celebrating)?
For that, I am going to some life lessons I learned from my own beloved big brother. He is one of the wisest, kindest, smartest, and creative people that I know. As a little sister, I did a lot of copying what he did because I thought he was the coolest. I still think that, but cool carries a lot less weight as an adult as it did when we were teenagers.
1. You do not always have to do the same things to love and support each other. Ryan played viola, so I played viola. Ryan got the blue and gray tennis shoes for back to school, I got the blue and gray tennis shoes for back to school. Ryan did pentathlon, so I did pentathlon. My parents did not force me into any of these things, I just wanted to do all the things that he did. Maybe I wanted to try and do them better than him, but that’s hard to gauge. We were split enough in years that often teachers had changed for these activities by the time I got to them. I greatly appreciate that he never told me I couldn’t do what he was doing. He gave me enough time and support to do anything that seemed cool to me so that by the time I was leaving middle school, I had found my own interests and activities. He loved me whether I did exactly as he did or if I went off and did my own thing. This love did include support- he came to dance recitals and football games and concerts. We can do this for our siblings in Christ by not criticizing their faith practices. Oh, you don’t have instruments in worship? So long as that works for you, then, great.
2. Doing things together can be more powerful than doing them alone. I remember on a few occasions arguing to my mother, with my brothers help, that she should serve us either no vegetables or different vegetables. I think Kale may have been something she was trying to introduce, but the memory gets hazy on what specifically we were objecting to. What I do remember is that together we had quite a convincing argument. That even when we lost the argument, it was good to do something together. We are supposed to be in community together, to live, to struggle, to argue, to debate, to love all in one bunch. Even when we disagree with each other. Especially when we disagree with each other? But this is also true when there is a task to be accomplished. Doing any chore took less time when we did it together, even if the task was loathsome. In the life of the church, this means asking others for help. Many hands make light work, but the memories of serving the church together carry more power than if you struggle through something alone. God is a part of a trinity, humans are not meant to be isolated either.
3. You cannot change your siblings’ mind on purpose. I am not one who is quick to change my mind, but I know that one person who has successfully done this is my brother. It’s hard to argue with logic so imbued with empathy and stewardship for creation. And yet I would also say that he never tried to change my mind, he simply presented his reasons for doing something a certain way and that allowed me to see that I had been wrong. Very wrong. This lack of judgment is a part of that being united and in the church is one of the hardest things to hold on to. That you can think, maybe even know, that you are morally in the right, backed up by scripture, and still cannot tell someone else that you think they are wrong for their belief or their understanding. This alone has led to more divisions in the church’s history than almost anything else. Whether it was the early church arguing about whether or not Mary was the mother or God or if Christ was fully divine, people thought they were right. It takes an act of God (or, if you prefer, the working of the Holy Spirit) for some people to better understand the Word. You cannot force someone to believe the same way as you.
These are just a few of the things that I have picked up from my brother, but as we head into General Conference season, they seem important. What are lessons that you are learning from your siblings in Christ? What are lessons you have learned from your siblings? How has God used their mistakes (because as a younger sibling, we don’t make those) to teach you and build you up?
