Grown Up, I Guess
When I was a child I had a book of Broadway songs for singing complete with an accompaniment CD. I’m fairly certain that this previous sentence comes as “not a shock” to most of you given my predilection for singing or incorporating music into the things that I do. But I digress… In this book there was a song about being kind to your parents.
And although I’m not sure I’ve yet entirely taken this bit of advice to heart, I know that I have a few catchphrases I’ve used often that relate to being kind to yourself and offering grace. Things like “you’re only young and foolish once” and “I swear I’m an adult”. Scripture tells us that as we grow up we put aside childish things. And most think of this scripture as referring to the deepening of our faith and the increase in our understanding of who God is, was, and will be becoming bolstered by more personal experience, but I do wonder what it is that we lose when we look at the world through the lens of adulthood. Do we lose all the wonder and value of possibility? Do we become jaded because of responsibility? Do we lean heavy into being Marthas rather than Marys?
Like usual, I don’t have all the answers, just more things to ponder and more questions to ask. This topic was already heavy on my mind when we had this ice storm move through. I swear I’m an adult, but I don’t check the weather, ever? How is that possible. What kind of life am I living that weather does not impact my ability to work, eat, live? Truth is I was lucky this time. I have enough pantry staples and things I’ve tucked in the freezer that I won’t starve this week. And unlike so many, money isn’t the problem here, and if I did not have enough food, money would not be able to solve this problem. I’d be stuck. (Much like my vehicle almost was when I got back this morning, but that’s a lament for another time.) Driving on this ice isn’t worth it for delivery drivers or others.
And if I didn’t have enough food for this week, would my mind turn immediately to fret and worry? Or would I say that maybe today is the next time God will perform a miracle and my little bit flour and oil will last long enough to keep making bread? Will this be the next time the lights shine for eight nights instead of one?
The problem is that we also get this mix of “God helps those who help themselves” and the great American mentality of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. We want a miracle. I may even venture to say we’re desperate for it in the most serious way. Especially if we are not prepared. But being prepared isn’t always possible. If you’re stuck running around in a false sense of busyness, you will be one of the women with a lamp that burns out before the bridegroom comes. Or if you’re busy working three jobs and know that you’ll have to go to work no matter what, you might not stop to think about the weather and the long-term impact it will have on your week. If you’re going to be waiting for the bus in the snow, you’ll need your umbrella and poncho, but you’ll still be waiting for the bus or even worse, walking to work. And if you’re living paycheck to paycheck, like the 63-64% reported via various news media sources, buying food ahead may not even be possible.
Obviously this isn’t the first time I’ve touched on the difficulties of poverty and the impact that they have on us as believers, our call to help the poor as they will always be with us, and our participation in the social justice necessary to implement changes that would move away from these dire straits. God helps more people than those who help themselves. God’s love isn’t earned or deserved or any of those things. (In fact that’s a fairly commonly denounced heresy called works righteousness in which your ability to do good deeds buys your salvation rather than Christ’s sacrifice.) All of this feels like the very antithesis of the bootstraps mentality. God gives us that which we cannot earn or buy: eternal salvation, steadfast and unending love, and hope. So why is so much of our society built around earning what we have?
I swear I’m a grown up. I pay my taxes, I eat my vegetables, and I am employed. So why start with this song about being kind to your parents? Well, I don’t know. I was going to start with a whole diatribe about why putting wool blankets on your bed in this kind of weather is a great plan to encapsulate heat between the layers (one wool blanket below your fitted sheet and one wool blanket somewhere in the layers above + socks makes for very toasty sleeping), but I realized that my blanket advice would not apply to everyone. But most people have parents or need a reminder that other people may not be in the same situation that they are in. Not everyone has the same success. Not everyone gets the same opportunities. Not everyone has the same call from God in their life. Some are called to implement change while others are not. And as a grown up and a pastor, I have a clear sense of my calling, but do not know yet if I am a change maker. I do have some power in life that I did not as a child, though I’m not sure I’m any less foolish at times.
So, I’ll end with this: a poem I wrote during the end of my retail days.
Repeat after me:
Life is not fair.
But when I have power
I’ll do my part
to be just and fair
and treat my fellow humans
with loving care
because profits over people
is never smart
and it’s possible to lead
with both head and heart.
God be with you until we meet again. Stay safe and off the ice (do not be foolish as I was) and we’ll meet again soon.
