A Word or Phrase
Once again, it feels a little unfair to say, but perhaps Disney is to blame for much of who my generation is. When I think of mottos or mantras or ways in which people live their lives, Hakuna Matata is one of the first things that comes to mind and espouses a life view of letting bygones be bygones. It was a phrase which set the tone for how many people lived their lives. The Beatles gave us “Let It Be”, but McCartney gave us “Live and Let Die” which both seem to advocate a hands off approach to controlling the lives of others, but with rather different sentiments attached. Well, maybe we can attribute the second more to the James Bond franchise than McCartney himself. No matter where you pick up a phrase or a saying or a mantra, we, as people, sometimes internalize these things. Sometimes in a positive way and sometimes to a detriment. Below are one example of each.
If it is to be, it is up to me.
This phrase was introduced to me on my first day of high school as a part of class for Freshman. It was all about taking personal responsibility for who I was, who I wanted to be, etc. It was intended to be a bit of a panacea for peer pressure and also growth and maturity. Without passing too much judgment and acknowledging that we all need help from time to time, most mature and healthy people do not ask their parents to email their boss to schedule days off. As high schoolers, we were being taught some autonomy and responsibility with the hopes being that when we were grown ups that we would know how to do some things for ourselves. A noble goal, but I think we all know at least one person who made it into adulthood who had never had to wash a dish, run a load of laundry, or do anything for themselves. And if you were that person, I hope you’ve grown a bit since then in both life skills and responsibility. Our teacher had us write the initials for this on our folders for her class so that we would see them every time we took out those folders, both in class and at home. IIITB,IIUTM.
For most of that year, we quoted it to each other. Sometimes with irony and sometimes with a gravity and seriousness that can only come from being 14 and thinking you know everything. In the end, I find this one applicable at times, but mostly for things in our personal lives. If you’re tired of the way your living room is arranged, move the couch. If you don’t like a recipe, tweak it to taste. Don’t make yourself suffer if a change is within your power.
However, theologically, this one is not sound. If you are unhappy with your life, make a change. You are in control of all things. Be transformed by your inner power. If it is all up to us, that does not match with the need for divine intervention. Christ’s sacrifice is meaningless as we could always save ourselves from our sins. If you are sin-sick and weary, you just need to fix it all by yourself. Jesus who? In the end, this one removes both our need for God and our need for each other. For peer pressure as a teen, it can be useful, but it’s the sort of mantra that ultimately fades away because we know that we are not in control and do not have the power to change the cosmos to suit our will. Most of us, given the chance, would in fact not be kind and benevolent dictators because at some point absolute power corrupts absolutely in humans. On the surface, this one seems empowering and positive. I’m sure there are people for whom that is true. But when you dig just a little under the surface, it does not hold up to the test of time.
Can’t Say No Until You Ask
Although I cannot tell you the source of this one, I also do not feel as if I am the one who came up with it. I’m sure I got it from somewhere. My little sponge of a brain picks up phrases all over the place (including one that I love that came from the mechanic’s shop who used to do alignments on my car). I am not taking credit for it.
On the surface this one is simple. There’s a reason it made it onto the sign in my office. My old office sign, the one when I worked in retail, had number one as “Beate says no”. I guess you can say no before you ask. Ha! For me, this one serves as a reminder that sometimes you worry about things that you don’t really need to worry about. Things might work out well in the end no matter what you think.
When we think about possible and impossible, we do so in limited human terms, but for God, nothing is impossible. God has changed the hearts of even the Pharaoh. A heart turned to stone does not sound like it could be moved or changed, but with God, it can. When we start thinking with a scarcity mindset, that nothing will change or that things are going to go poorly, we miss out on what might be possible if we would get out of our own way.
Caveats, because of course it is not that simple, being that sometimes we ask and there is no change. Sometimes the answer is no. BUT, in the asking, we have done all within our power to make something happen. After that, we must trust in God.
Three Questions
So, if you look at your life right now, what would you want to change? I almost willing to say that universally people have something that they would like to be different. Tune in next week to hear about the three questions, a model for having serenity in times of trouble.
